I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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