I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
