i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
