If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
