I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize
