If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
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