It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
