i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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