Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize