eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
