he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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