I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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