and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
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