I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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