I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize