I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
