So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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