You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
