you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Randomize
