You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Randomize