I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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