His pubic hair was longer than his dick
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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