The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
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