I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
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