god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
