So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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