just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
