shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
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