come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Randomize
