He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
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