anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
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