You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Randomize
