she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
