hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Just cropdusted the office
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
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