I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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