Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
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