I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
