piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Your penis caused this!
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