so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Randomize
