my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
