So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Randomize
