Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
When are your genitals available?
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Randomize