where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
