you win again, gameday.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
