i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Randomize
