Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
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