when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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