Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
