is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
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