Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Randomize
