Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
