paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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