what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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