We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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