never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize