Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
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