Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Randomize
