so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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