Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I have tasted many bathrooms
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
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