You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
