Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
