I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
