I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
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