so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
