We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
