She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
she smelled like a LAN party
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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