Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Two words: nipple clamps
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