this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
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