protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
